mockturtle (hellblazer06) wrote,
mockturtle
hellblazer06

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I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad

I was hitting the magazine racks again (what can I say, it's an addiction and I'm having a complete cunt of a week) and the latest air freighted issue of The Face caught my attention, because it looked exactly like the cover of all those old Smash Hits I still have lurking in a box somewhere under my bed. Then as I drew closer I realised: Holy Fuck, that's Orlando! He looks like Pete Murphy from Bauhaus, which is okay cause I always had a thing for Pete, but, holy hannah. I knew letting him make a film with Johnny Depp would lead to this. Now Orlando has picked up that whole 'I'm not pretty, I'm a serious thespian' ethos. Sigh. No more fun films from Orlando. Nope, it's all going to be painfully pretentious gnaw your own left leg off to survive art flicks. Oh, for the love of...

I blame all those idiot screaming girls for this disturbing development. Speaking of blame and idiots, apparently, according to an interview with Michael Shanks in the latest issue of SFX, he's actively de-slashing the Gate. We lost a lovely tete a tete with the boys in nowt but towls because he knew it'd end up on a t-shirt on some fat chick at a con, so he nixed it. Well, thanks for nothing, you morons. Due to your indiscretion we're losing the slash.

And people decide to trash my web sites? Do I wear in your face t-shirts or ask slashy questions? I think not. These are the people you want to keel haul, not me. They're the ones ruining it for the rest of us. Hmph.

Yes, I've been asked about slash by actors, but that's only because I'm never allowed to sit at the slash table, ever. I'm always by myself in the corner so they pick on me as non threatening girl. I always stammer, decline to comment and flee. I never, ever wear daft things, ask confronting questions (that are slash related at least, bagging their craft is a whole 'nother thing) or bring props. I bet most of the peeps I hang with have no idea that I write rude fiction on occassion.

Discretion people, please, though it's all too late now. Sigh. Pout. Whimper. I hate you guys.

Anyway, Stargate was the other pleasure on my crappy day from hell. Thursday now means two hours of Gate, S6 on evilchannel7 and S3 on TV1. The first one was the grinding up Tokra for drugs one, which was very Trekky in plot, and Jonas was so Daniel it annoyed me. Could they have not made the character different? Having Daniel-Lite does not satisfy, and it does grate that Jonas gets to play with ruins and translations more than Daniel ever did.

Over on TV1 we had real Daniel (accept no substitutes) and war games, with little Jaffas running about playing at American soldiers (they weren't blowing up themselves or their allies so they weren't very convincing - snark). The young actor though was quite good. First time round his earnestness grated but this time it was perfectly in character and I really liked this episode (it's more than a bit like watching Buffy, episodes you thought were lame at the time become masterpieces when you see what comes later).

I also liked seeing Jack be really tough and stroppy yet kind to the young Jaffa. Seeing how he treats raw recruits, you realise just how much leeway he gives Daniel. Ample proof they're doing it, in my book. Nobody else walks over Jack like that. Not even Sam. Maybe Teal'c, but nobody gets away with it like Daniel does.

Work is still miserable. Aside from being left alone to re-format the enormous fucking website all by myself, all the boys who've acted in the sys admin post have officially acted, and been paid for it. I've been told I'm merely taking on extra duties and not acting, so no pay, which I really need. Worse, this is the third time they've pulled this stunt on me in my life, and I really need the money. Yes, I'll have a word to HR but as they were so effective in getting me paid the last time - not, well, I don't hold much hope. It's just not fair. All of the hard work and none of the rewards - the story of my life. I used to let people walk all over me cause I knew they'd beat me up if I didn't. Now I know they'll just beat me up anyway, because they can. Sigh, it's so not fair. I am so Wesley S1. :(

Add to that the malicious hacking and not being able to cram onto the bus home because it was full of arseholes only going one or two stops and having to wait another hour in the cold and dark, well, it was tears before Stargate started and cheered me up.

Gotta thank Stargate for cheering me up 'cause I was on the verge of doing something very self destructive last night, because I'm tired of this 'kick me' sign I seem to have pinned to my back. Why do people keep treating me so abominably?

Oh, the other small joy in my life was writing. Sure, nobody reads my stuff, hell, I can't even get it online any more, but at least the simple act of watching Billy and Alan play scenes in my head and then trying to write them down as best I can was fun, better than drugs.

'Hands! Hands!' is my new margin note though as there was a bit I wrote yesterday and I forgot and had Billy cradling a coffee cup with both hands. Ooops. I know, you're thinking how could I forget? Well, I did, just for a moment. Character bleed from Ian McKnight, I suspect. There was always a lot of Ian in my version of Billy anyway, even before I managed to get my hands on the flick. My Billy is sweet, sexually adventurous and slightly self absorbed, too, so you can see how it blurs a bit when I watch LC more than JP3.

I did have fun writing last night though. The story has, as always, gone off in its own direction, dealing with the aftermath of plot point rather than plot point itself, which I think I'm going to end up skipping over, Patrick O'Brian style, and you know, I think I like this version better.

I still think that idea where Billy died and Alan's nuts has legs, too (the helicopter rescue was all an hallucination).

I was also struck with the idea of Jack as god killer, which he is, but such an idea unhappily groans for bulk research so look for that in 2010 - grin.

That is, of course, if that cunt will ever stop hacking my websites. Grrr. I might be horrified by the death penalty but I really, really want to kill that bastard, up close and personal.

I wounder if the fact that all my characters are ending up crippled these days is because I'm really feeling the loss of my websites? Certainly I feel a great deal of physical pain at the loss. Or, as Buffy once said (paraphrasing here): pain will come. Right now I'm just trying to breathe. :(

Some of the links below were submitted by friends, again.


  • Orlando: The Face #79 August 2003 UK (subscription required) (pdf)

  • Schwarzenegger heads the election gunslingers in farcical race for California's hot seat

  • Craigslist: Now It's a Movie, Too
  • quotes

  • Combat Training Tips - Special Men
  • Heatwave causes city iceberg growth
  • It ain't half hot, Mum ...
  • This year's model
  • Sunken Nazi warships resurface in Serbia amid drought
  • Thay know what they want
  • Oldest spider silk found
  • The Bastards

  • Basic Training

  • French actress buried after star-studded tribute
  • Vice as pie

  • Wreaking Havok

  • Interpol alert

  • Woman gets bottled message from father lost at sea in 1977

  • Teen killed for sex with dead jogger (I just knew Montana was a sick and scary place)

    • "The key to winning in battle is to sneak up on your opponent and belt the
      shit out of him from behind as hard and quickly as you can before he figures
      out you're in the neighborhood, and then scoot the hell out of there."


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