mockturtle (hellblazer06) wrote,

shut up, freeze and cover me

The BBC is out to rid the land of male tv detectives, much like the pied piper, one assumes, and yes, I've gone to The Goodies place already, and really, why? Certainly the Guardian poll showed this was a misguided move, because, like, what else am I going to watch on the weekends now that I'm too old and embarrassing to go out? And Zen wasn't that bad, not really. I kinda liked passive aggressive Roofy Babes and the crumbly Italian architecture.

But really, when I first heard this news, I went straight to the Detectives on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown place. Oh yes, indeedy.

No more great British detectives? You must be bloody joking, Guv.

But seriously, have the Tories sunk a saboteur into the BBC, because, like what are they thinking, giving up on period dramas and detectives shows? Without those, what is the point of the BBC? Which, I sadly suspect, is the entire point. Evil.

More to the point, you can't take away my tv detectives and send me out into the world at this late stage? What am I to do? Take up knitting, I suppose. The BBC is so off my christmas card list, I can tell you. Harumph.

In happier news, Himself managed to find me one of those PG Tips stuffed monkeys they were giving away in the UK at Xmas. I guess the remainder container finally heaved itself up on these blighted shores, and lo, I am now the proud owner of a stuffed monkey. Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Why yes, I am five, especially when it comes to stuffed monkeys, thanks for asking. I am now up to my eyeballs in PG Tips but I'm sure we'll make short work of them. Hmmm, excuse to get another pretty tea cup? Yes? No?

Alas, the fairy dust of my trip south has faded somewhat, but, by gosh, that was fun. The cards were right, work might be dire (they've just discovered this thing called Twitter, and firewalled that, too) but at least I can embroider around the edges.

Dire is right though, with those two temps pecking and clawing at me all week like two harpies.

Hmmm, I feel a Harryhausen festival coming on, especially as the cable has gone kaput. The only problem with Clash of the Titans is that you have to put up with the Hamlin, but I suppose it set the template for all the films that came after, that is, only ever hire actors less animated than the special effects.

Oh, you should have seen what bad Foxtel did to Wed's episode of QI that Himself IQ'd for me. It was unintentionally hilarious as it went: static static 'Giant Penis!' static static 'you rub it with brown sauce' static static 'and a kettle!'.

We were flailing with gales. I'm not sure whether to keep it or not. Keep it and send it to the Tate as a video installation? It was the funniest thing on tv all week, I swear. We live for Phill Jupitus yelling out a non sequitur 'Giant Penis!' unexpectantly in the midst of static (and on QI, too, I mean, what are the odds, snigger).

But yes, the bullying is getting me down, so I resolve to be kinder to Matt Bomer this week, especially as I'm not feeling the love from the USA promos this year, oh dear. No longer their golden boy? Here's hoping it just looks that way to the hopelessly uninitiated. It'd suck, otherwise, the poor kid.

One minor quibble, though, in that they're still promoting White Collar as a cop buddy show. Harumph. False advertising, imho. I do not and will not tune in to watch Neal's stick figure girlfriend. I can only hope this one blows up, too. If required, I can be called upon to suggest more imaginative ways for her to exit, stage left. Anything from Dr Phibes would be good, for starters. There's also the wood chipper from Fargo, being tossed to the sarlacc from Return of the Jedi, being stepped on by Talos from Jason and the Argonauts, or taken out by a bookcase like poor Sam West in Howard's end.

Um, not that I've thought about it or anything.

Oh, Amazon just emailed me to tell me my big box of Sinbad is on its way. Yes, this is how I celebrate the Aussie dollar cracking US 1.10, buy ordering a big box of Sinbad films. It'll probably just put me on the watch list again, oh dear (suspicious middle eastern types in harem pants, tsk).

Also, thanks to the friend who is going to help ease my cable reception problems, heh heh, heh.

But seriously, with the Oz dollar on the up and up, and our cities ranking above those in the US as destinations, and our education scores, quality of life index and infant mortality rates all superior to the States, well, can you imagine it if Australia was suddenly the Leader Of The Free World (whatever that means)? Can you just imagine? She'll be right, no worries, mate, bewdy bonzer.

Though I'm not sure how the traditional beer and snags will go down in the middle east peace talks. Heh, maybe that's exactly what they need, just to get over themselves.

Oh, Australians in charge of The Free World. It'd be so funny. It might just work.

Well, it could happen, in a silly sort of On The Beach meets I Claudius kind of scenario, where the last man standing wins, even if it is the unregarded and unimportant idiot in the corner.

What else? It's cold. Well, cold for me. Sitting up typing last night was a slow and miserable experience, even though I think I was wearing all my pyjamas and all my socks. Himself seems to have reverted to the no heater/all the windows and doors open in the dead of winter mode. Just picture me turning blue and chattering away in the corner.

Still, I was being silly, and managed to drop in a reference to Dr Lao as I went. For no other reason than for the fact that I think all picnics should look like a Sydney Long painting, that's all.

Yes, I do play around with references to Neal being unearthly, but it doesn't mean anything other than a metaphor for Neal being such a stunning beautiful and accomplished young man, and yet he is not whole, not entirely there. He's still a child, not a whole man, and while at first this seems to be an enchanting otherwordliness, Peter soon comes to understand, like Julia with Rex in Brideshead, that Neal is just pretending to be a man, and it's not enough, not nearly enough. But that's later. For the first few stories I can have fun comparing Neal to Loki (trickster, thief, magician, and this was before Thor) and Peter always worrying in the back of his mind that if he falls asleep at Neal's place he'll wake up in an empty vacant lot the next morning.

Hey, at least it keeps me off the streets, right?

Oh, I'd write more but I'm deep in sulk and brood mode right now. The EBFH took a project I've struggled with since Sept last year and now it's just about to get over the line, and it's looking like it'll work and it's big and showy, she's taken it off me and given it to her prize pet.

I tell ya, I feel Loki's "Marcia Marcia Marcia" angst right now.

And finally, you too can own a pissed off puss brooch. I'm sorry, it just cracked me up. It has, indeed, captured the whole, sniffy, snotty attitude of cats, in a tacky faux silver brooch.

Brian May: my quest to save the badger

Edward Burne-Jones

BBC ends Dr Who spin-off

Scotland toasts new whisky-powered bioenergy plant

Tutankhamun exhibition breaks records

5cm fossilised ant found in US

Sydney teen charged with egging Bieber

Neil Gaiman hits back at US politician's theft accusation

The Opinions of a Pencil-necked Weasel-thief...

Death of terror's big fish leaves a sour taste

Fox station gets its Osamas and Obamas in a twist

Hollywood has bin Laden death in its sights,0,3015719.story

Israel to track property stolen from Holocaust victims

New web catalogue of property stolen in Holocaust

William Campbell: From Elvis to JFK to Captain Kirk

More than a word from 007's sponsors

‘Thor’ star Chris Hemsworth stars on the big screen — and on your Slurpee cup

Hemsworth thunders in this summer in 'Thor'

Chris Hemsworth takes Hollywood as god of thunder

‘Thor’: Chris Hemsworth on magic, crocodiles and Hollywood

Hemsworth must keep Thor hot bod!

Chris Hemsworth relishes superhero role in Thor

Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth prepare for a superhero summer

Exclusive: Why Michael Biehn is unlikely to make Terminator 5

'Justified' has a season finale with an ominous title

'Hawaii Five-0' could become the next billion-dollar franchise for CBS

Mega Buzz: A Five-0 Death, Bad Botox on Modern Family and a Smallville Quest

Justin Hartley makes directorial debut with Friday’s ‘Smallville’ episode

SUPERNATURAL recap Season 6 Episode 19: Mommy Dearest

SUPERNATURAL renewed for Season 7! Our Thoughts

‘Supernatural’ takes on sinking ships, the Old West and maybe a musical?

SUPERNATURAL Recap Season 6 Episode 18 – Frontierland

SUPERNATURAL Recap Season 6 Episode 17 – My Heart Will Go On

CHUCK Versus the Wedding Planner Recap Season 4 Episode 21

Chuck vs Agent X Season 4 Episode 22: Las Vecas, Anyone?

CHUCK Season 5 Renewal Chances Lifted? Fans Thank NBC and Sponsors Diet Pepsi, Dove Chocolate and More

‘Smallville’ Tom Welling on saying goodbye to Superman

TV networks are deciding who's in and who's out,0,7047960.story

When the death of a TV show is sweeter

Why Glee Matters

2011 USA Upfront (May 2nd)

Matt Bomer, Tiffani Thiessen and More Answer All Your Burning Fan Questions!

USA Network 2011 Upfront Photo Gallery

White Collar Cast

I Saw Matt Bomer Up Close

Hutch Dano on 'White Collar' - FIRST LOOK!

Matt Bomer Pictures: EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women 2011 Photos, Pics

'White Collar' Star Tim Dekay Visits 'Law & Order: Los Angeles'

USA Network’s Twist on ‘Upfront’ Puts Stars Up Front

Matt Bomer: USA Upfronts in NYC!

Characters Take The USA Upfront By Storm

In Photos: The stars of USA Network greet fans at their Upfront presentation in NYC

Matt Bomer's 'White Collar' Key Art - EXCLUSIVE

Join Matt Bomer, Julie Bowen, & others raise money for HIV programs at AIDS Walk NY

'White Collar': Matt Bomer Talks Season 3 and Neal's Love Life

Matt Bomer and Tiffani Thiessen talk new ‘White Collar’

USA Network Shows How Upfront Events Should Be Done

USA Upfronts Red Carpet Video

USA Upfronts Video

Matt Bomer talks White Collar at USA Upfronts

White Collar

Who Weekly

2 May 2011


December 2010



2008 UK
Who Weekly

2 May 2011


December 2011




Who Weekly

2 May 2011


Tags: hawaii five-0, magazine scans, matthew bomer, white collar

  • My tweets

    Mon, 16:37: Corella. Turns out I'm having a server day. Mon, 17:11: Corella. Turns out I'm having a server day.…

  • My tweets

    Sun, 17:24: RT @ MoviesSilently: If this hallway doesn't give you the urge to blow up the Earth because it obstructs your view of Venus, I have…

  • My tweets

    Sat, 17:56: RT @ MrTimDunn: Tonight's travel poster: “Service by Night" By David Shepherd for British Railways. A 1955 scene back down King’s…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded