Because last night, well last night I had to catch up on the flist, which is easy to do when you're a bit tired and twitchy still, less open to exploring and wandering, I guess. Usually it's a joy, sometimes a chore. Last night I whipped through so fast I must have skipped pages somehow. No matter, Dell Boy was all perfectly behaved (and has been ever since I got the evil new mini pc which still sucks) and I was done in plenty of time for Burn Notice. Which I enjoyed even though it was all daddy issues and while bonding wth young boys used to be cute in 50s tv shows, these days we call it grooming. Ahem. Moving on, to...
White Collar. Oh, yeah, baby. Had to limit myself to just one, due to the insane viewing hour, but oh, what a one. Twas "Vital Signs" I slipped into the machine and I'd been promised I'd find much to enjoy, but, oh, boy. I've seen gay tv shows that were less gay, Peter's missus notwithstanding. Where do I start? Or should I just head straight to the highlights? Neal's doped up confession of Peter being the one, the only one (oh my), to be followed up by exasperated noogies on Peter's part. To. Die. For.
And then, then, after Peter has handcuffed Neal to the chair, Neal is burbling away to the handcuffs, then abandons all ideas of escape from Peter and starts singing, if a tad tunelessly, "Love is a Many Splendored Thing". 0.o
So, let me get this right, Neal abandons all thoughts of escaping from Peter, and starts singing "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" instead, as the first thing that pops into his head. I'm sure there's a non slashy explanation, but I cannot see it for the life of me. Neal appears to be deeply smitten. Worst case of Stockholm Syndrome ever, or true meeting of hearts?
Again, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable and non slashy explanation, but right now my sleep deprived brain read Neal's drug induced ramblings as a declaration that he could escape anytime he wanted to, any way he wanted to, but he chooses not to because, well, love is a many splendored thing, apparently. And whom is the object of this love, we wonder? The person who cuffed him and told him to stay put, the person who was, by Neal's earlier slurred declaration, the "only one"? If this was Neal with his defences down and speaking the truth, well, that was some mighty interesting truth. But again, I'm sure there's a perfectly prim and proper explanation, but you're gonna need citations and diagrams and a powerpoint presentation to even begin to convince me otherwise.
I mean, I was willing to give the show the benefit of the doubt and take what I could get, but consider those slash goggles well and truly welded on now - grin.
Whatever, I would like to hold a red card up at this moment and accuse tprb of trying to blind me with the slash because the plot had holes so wide you could taxi a Hercules aircraft through them. Like where did Moz go? (not that I care, and I know I'm in the minority, but he sucks up way too much valuable Neal time, imho, but as I'm shipping the boys bigtime, such an opinion is to expected). And what the hell? They drug Neal with a potentially life threatening dose of whatever and just leave him? No guards, no CCT, no nuffin? And Peter can just wander about with an incapacitated Neal, dump him in the boardroom, steal a security tape, from the security room, I should imagine, and then get Neal and tape out of there, without being seen or stopped? The hell?
I should probably struggle with the whole Peter broke the rules, crossed the line and stole stuff to protect Neal, but there's been so much of that lately I hardly even noticed. Yes, Neal is a bad influence on Peter re due process, risk taking, discipline and procedure, and if this were a more realistic show then maybe there'd be an episode where Peter would have to pay for having too much fun, but I don't think it's that type of show and I don't think it should be (and that's what fic is for, anyway). Did I just say 'pay for having fun'? Get down with my bad Calvinist self.
Anyhoo, plot, what plot, look at the pretty. Oh yes, lots of fun. I just wish that it was written a bit more tightly (okay, a lot more tightly) and they gave Tim DeKay more to do. Whatever happened to the Man Who Caught Neal Caffrey? He's still kinda standing in awe and watching. Except for the awkward chatting up the bird bit - actually cringeworthy to watch after being spoilt with sexy Jonesy in Carnvivale. And was Neal shocked or jealous? Given the rest of the episode, one does wonder. And come on, it's not beyond belief that some folks might find Peter teh sex, it does happen, no matter what most White Collar websites might say.
On the face of it, an atrocious episode that would have embarrassed Remington Steele, but never mind that, look at the slash! And yeah, there was squeeing with delight. I feel so ashamed, so easily pleased, so undiscerning. But let's face it, it's White Collar, not The Wire, and never the twain shall meet (certain Baltimore cops slumming it in cable shows notwithstanding).
Oh, bugger it. It's fun. If I wanted grim cops being grim with added grimness I'd have watched the new Danish cop show on SBS. But I didn't. I should have, but I didn't. I suppose I'll just have to get the dvd if/when it comes out. And watch Wallander in the meantime.
Speaking of grim, I'd still love to see Lenny and Peter swap charges for a week. We could call it Changing Handlers. Neal wouldn't know what hit him. Nor, I suspect, would Peter (when did the Americans get so soft and the Brits so hard?).
I also loved Neal going after the cereal box toy (do they still have those in the States?) and never mind the monitoring device as the lad drops into Chez Burke and it was so adorable, it really was. I can see why Peter was so grumpy with the whole 'my badge is real and I had to work hard to get it' thing, but you'd think he'd also be more pleased that Neal, in this episode, certainly, seems to be so onboard the whole crime fighting duo thing that Peter doesn't even need to chain him up, though he does, and this relationship, so very disturbed in so many ways. So there's Neal, all eager to be the good guy and getting himself in all manner of strife with his over eagerness. Peter really needs to do more than bore Neal with cautionary tales, he really needs to do something properly before Neal gets them both in serious trouble with his jumping the gun and going off half cocked and I've run out of metaphors but you know what I mean. Neal's bad (misguided) influence in cutting corners, shall we say, should get them into far more trouble than it does. How on earth do they ever prosecute any of Peter's cases these days?
But never mind that, it was cute and reminded me very much of those episodes where one or both of our anti-hero Maverick brothers (who could teach Neal a thing or three) end up as a deputy or sheriff, with hilarity ensuing.
Oh, it was my favourite episode of Maverick last night, that I managed to see most of it but sadly could not record (seemed rather piointless 15 mins in or so). It was the one with the safecracker and the Denver bank and Maverick pulls such a trick on the poor man that he just breaks. Wicked, wicked Bret Maverick. It is one of the best episodes ever, but I feel so sorry for the safecracker who is no match for Maverick (but nearly was, hence the escalating battle of wits and wills). The other night's episode where Maverick had one of his lady grifters in tow and the rigourously by the book lawman, ha! I've seen entire series constructed on less. Well, um, yes.
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