Um, not quite. And isn't it interesting to compare Vince's declaration with Martha's:
"Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her, but that was it, and she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life, ‘cause whilst he was round, she never looked at anyone else, and I told her, I always said to her time and time again, I said ‘get out'. So this is me... getting out."
Especially as both were written by the same hand. But this really hasn't got anything to do with anything other than musing upon the (mostly) unrequited loves of the Sherwood Scoobies in series one:
Even if Robin had stayed, if he had honoured his vows to her, Much would have been by his side. She envied Much, and yet she pitied him, too. To love someone, and be forsaken, and yet still love them, she knew the sadness he must carry in his heart. It was even worse for Much: to be that close and still be invisible, to be so essential, yet never thought of, to lie beside him, yet never be the name upon his lips.
Aw, poor Much. He and Martha totally need to form a support group, though at least Martha wised up and got out, and, well, I'm impressed, because I've certainly wasted my life in endless devotion to gentlemen who never woke up and saw the sidekick.
I think the most piquant example (though these days he hurts the least) was Mr B who once sobbed on my (apparently gender neutral) shoulder that he just couldn't talk to girls. Thanks ever so. He was distressed that a friend of mine, after whom he pined greatly, in true Whedon fashion, saw him only as waiter and chauffer. Ah, we always want what we can't have (and I'm not sure if that was an actual quote or not, but I've been groovin' on Buffy repeats of late).
Unrequieted love, despite RTD's early essays on the subject, isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've certainly ended up all bitter and alone (the walking out only really works if you've got a rebound shag lined up, or at least on telly it does). Maybe it's okay that at least I know what it's like to be absolutely smitten, but it's still not like I've got anything to show for it. Or as Charles Winchester III once said: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have... oh, give me a drink."
And yeah, actually writing. Or typing, at least. It's not great and it's only two pages but it's better than washing dishes. Although of course there are some out there who would prefer I stick at washing dishes. To them I say away wi' ye. I'm having an unhappy time and my only pleasure comes from ensuring Much is even unhappier. Poor Much.
And ack, my milk's gone off. No wonder that last cuppa tasted dire. It was perfectly okay yesterday. Okay, who accelerated time inside the fridge? Own up.
Meanwhile, I'm glad I decided, fer once, that these boots weren't walkin' anywhere at lunchtime today. No errands, no nuffin. Last night I found, confirming my suspicions, that my 'good' ankle was swollen to twice the size of my 'bad' ankle, simply because the poor bastard has had to drag the bulk of this blubber all over town and back again. Oh dear. Then bastard ankle kept me up all night, despite my best efforts to eschew dvds and all other temptations to get an early night, and worse, waking me constantly from attempts at a dream that was featuring promising guest spots from the Doctor and Lucius Vorenus (and also, weirdly, an ex-friend who wouldn't let me shop in any shop I wanted to shop, or let me buy the dress and shoes I wanted - how unlike realife, then - and then I discovered the dress could only be sold to British residents. My subconcious upset over British entitlements to all the cool stuff in the universe? Just a tad, obviously).
And speaking of jammy pommy bastards:
From the Northern Guardian:
There was a near-tragedy at Scarborough's Sea Life Centre, reports the
Northern Echo, when a turtle gobbled up a toy monkey and, um, held it
in for three weeks. The displays supervisor at Scarborough Sea Life
and Marine Sanctuary, Lyndsey Crawford, recalls a little girl
dropping the cuddly toy by accident and Antiopi the turtle grabbing
said simian and pootling off with it. Lyndsey says: "A couple of
staff members tried to take the monkey from Antiopi but she dodged
them and dived straight to the bottom where she swallowed it. We
consulted vets as soon as we could but as we suspected there was
nothing for it but to wait and hope that she would eventually pass it
out the other end."
The wait, says the paper sombrely, was a distressing one for all
"Antiopi was in a lot of discomfort. She was put on antibiotics to
combat the effect of any dyes or other chemicals that might be
leached out of the toy, and of course she wasn't interested in food."
Her normal diet consists of three or four whiting a week. Thankfully,
after three long weeks, the monkey reappeared. "A loud cheer went up
right round the Centre. It had changed colour from red to yellow, but
almost as soon as she was rid of it Antiopi was back to her normal
Lynsey believes that Antiopi's erratic behaviour is due to lasting
brain damage she suffered when she was bashed on the head by either a
propeller or a fisherman's gaff hook in the Mediterranean. "A normal
healthy turtle would have realised the monkey was not food and spit
it out again," she adds. Antiopi is 35 years old and weighs 100
kilos. Old, overweight, torpid and an unhealthy eater - it could be
and this bit:
From the Manchester Evening News: Peter Hook, late of New Order, has
hit back at the "veteran indie outfit". On his MySpace page - how
passe - he says: "This group has split up! You are no more New Order
than I am!
"You may have two thirds, but don't assume you have the rights to do
anything 'New Order-ey', because you don't. I've still got a third!
But I'm open to negotiation. See you in court!"
Hooky hits back
Was Jekyll just James Nesbitt's audition as the next Doctor Who?
Memorable quotes for "M*A*S*H"
"Queer as Folk"
Last of the Time Lords
Scientists jump-start brain
Watch This: 'Get Smart: The Complete Collection'
San Diego Comic-Con 2007 - Day 4 (Milo)
Why shouldn't museums be for pure pleasure?
Bourne to be wilder
Lindsay Lohan, scandalous? She’s got a lot to learn
Peter Phillips may renounce succession
Yummy Baked Chokos
Creamy Chokos topped with Bacon
Peter Tuddenham, the Worthing actor with all the answers
Kilmer flies high in Orange ad
Time to stop picking on brains
Grape expectations as vines return to the city
Record of First Fleet tipped to fetch record price
Mao's megaphones come to the streets of Sydney
Convicts stumble out of closet, onto the web
Comic-Con: Geeks, Spocks and Supermen
The Edwyn Collins story: Rip it up... and start again
The 5-Minute Interview: Julian Cope, Musician
New Order at war after 'break-up'
Orangutans use 'charades' to talk
Gene for left-handedness is found
Right, time for a box of tissues and another viewing of Persuasion, methinks. Man, I nearly teared up on the bus just thinking about the wiffily parts. Hopefully this wet Friday with last into tomorrow and at least give me an excuse.
Oh yes, and can somebody please do a Robin Hood vid to this, please. It just the perfect Much song (Mental As Anything - If You Leave Me):