Apparently that was just too much to ask for. I knew my daydreams were all shot to pieces when I went to reheat the coffee that had been left sitting on the stove and the microwave pootled to a stop and would not go again no matter how much I begged and pleaded. To borrow from Waugh, electrical devices have their own wicked sense of the dramatically inopportune moment.
Not getting a new one ASAP wasn't an option because it's going to be late nights all this week and that would be one hardship too far: all work, no sleep, no tv and no hot dinners. I mean, at least in gaol one at least gets hot meals, a bed and tv, just in case you think I'm grizzling too much.
Fortunately a friend rang up and asked me if I wanted to go anywhere. Somewhere that sells microwaves, I whimpered, giving up all thought of indolent and bucolic picnics and the like. So far, so good, except the gods seem fit to "bless" me, in their infinite wisdom, with friends unable to keep a hold of their wallets, passports or keys and thus I spent most of the afternoon trudging around mall in search of car keys and turning out the shopping again and again in a dim car park. One emergency lift home later, in a back seat full of bitey spiders and hidden toe bars, I found the keys - apparently the box of danishes had contrived to swallow them whole and snap shut again. Now I want the dude from Numb3rs to show me just how that happened on a blackboard, with arrows and everything, especially as Person A with the keys never held the shopping. Gah.
Also, big, big spiders behind the old microwave.
So that was Saturday. Fun and games.
Sunday brought more spiders and as I'd overslept I raced down the back to start watering in the legislated hours and ran straight into a mighty orb spider's web and damn nearly garroted myself. These buggers are the size of matchbox cars with legs so believe me when I was totally facehugged. Ack.
Sometimes the lively ecosystem with all the bitey, poisonous critters ain't so much fun.
Then I engaged in some Olympian multitasking: tidying, scanning, cooking a lamb roast + vegies and catching up on a month's worth of Top Gear and Time Team. Okay, so I didn't do any of the above well, but I tried. Shall have to buy TG dvd just so I can pretend it's there and I could watch it properly, one day, if I had time.
Flooped into bed and watched the pentultimate Foyle's War, and did not fall asleep despite the Midsomeryness of the plot and pace (or complete lack thereof). Actually, after Spooks I did leave it on Midsommer, and it worked like a charm. TV mogadon. Though I was bemused by the opening which featured a pure Avengers attack from off screen pre-credits sequence. I mean it was so Totally Avengers. It bemused me, but then MM is a bit Avengers as far as it's lots of toffs being murdered in increasingly unlikely fashions, but without all the sly wit and campy craziness, alas.
Speaking of which. Amazon has been at me to buy Gideon's Way. Upon enquiring of the Peanut Gallery as to what manner of creature Gideon's Way was when at home, I was informed it was Lew Grade's attempt at gritty London cop show. Hoo, baby. Ah, Amazon, you know me so well, and far, far better than any of my friends, family and ex-lovers, which is disturbing, but there you go.
Nothing else to report though I see the universe is still going to great lengths to prevent me from witing the fic that nobody wants to read (but if I don't get it out of my head I'll not have room for anything else). It's possibly the worst thing I've written (or attempted to, thwarted at every turn) in decades, but I am bemused at how everyone ends up with what they said they wanted, and it's still not a happy ending - heh.
But never mind that. Whatever happened to the Colgate ring of confidence? Are we no longer worthy of the ring?
Oh, and while I've been annoyed by Keith Allen of late (spawning Lily being crimes against humanity #1, in my book), I gotta say the Sheriff of Nottingham's little phrase book of quick and useful putdowns for very annoying people is coming in mightily handy today. What can I say, it's zero tolerance for fools on a Monday (and you just won't believe just how dumb folks can be).
Call my fluff
Don’t call us superheroes
But, of course, Heroes is drugs
Sounds: Kaiser Chiefs exclusive
Spies like us
Mr Manchester's cancer battle
Bionic eye that restores sight to the blind
The tragic case of Conan Doyle
Earning their wings
Matt Damon's Mr nice spy
Martin's the Henderson kid
Why Heroes needs to watch its back
Lights, Bogeyman, Action
Time to turn on your red light
All in the mind
Pop Goes My Heart