Smallville: No fucking way - I can't believe they just played it. The ol Dukes of Hazzard theme tune, as JK was puttering along the road. Apparently middle age has reduced Bo Duke's once legendary driving skills to that of a lawn bowls player. A lawn bowls player driving a 1980s Volvo. How tragic.
What the hell? Evil really fake looking plants that spew spores all over people and make them act whacky - didn't this used to be a crap episode of Star Trek?
The spores appear to have turned JK into your typical Aussie male (belching, wiping the beer bottle on the curtain, etc), and Mamma Kent ain't impressed. I never realised how whipped poor Jonathan was until now. No hanky panky, no tossing of beer lids - the poor man. Now we know why Clark is adopted: his mum is totally hands off. JK objects to his son's "friendship" with Lex. As any parent would. I feel a QAF moment coming on.
Pete, too, is insanely jealous of Lex. Chloe handles her jealousy towards Lana in fine form, telling Clark he can play with his telescope forever or get a life. I think Chloe just called Clark a wanker. You go, girl.
Clark pulls a rifle off his now completely snapped father, meanwhile Whits gazes over an ejaculating bubbler as vampy Lana shows up and dumps him. Enough with the phallic imagery already.
Lex meanwhile is desperate to find a cure for Clark's Daddy, all for love, in spite of said Daddy's disapproval of their relationship. Lex turns on that cruel bad boy side of him that Clark has yet to see. Pity - it could be the deal breaker.
Blast - if only it was Clark coming on all hot and bothered and with whipped cream with Lex. Ah well, I can imagine. They really need to include the Clark version of this scene on the dvd. I'll watch it in slashy mode, thanks.
Meanwhile, Chloe, ace girl reporter, is on the case (completely lacking in any semblence of credibility that it is). Clark might be busy oggling a gratuituously undie clad Lana (they've just realised the one demographic that ain't watching the show), but Chloe is the real friend, doing all the work while Clark does all of the pining over another girl. Now I know Chloe is the daughter I never had. Her life was mine. Now Pete is going all bunny boiler on Lex because Lex has come between Pete and Clark. Ah, what a triangle we have here as the boys face off. Seems I'm watching the slashy version afterall.
Lex manages to secretly save the day - and since when did being the CEO of the company responsible make Lex personally responsible - I mean, what CEO is ever even considered responsible for anything their company does, so I don't get why this is meant to be a foreshadowing of Lex being evil. Covering up is exactly the sort of thing a CEO is meant to do. It's not being evil, it's part of the job description. Lex cleaned up his mess - this makes him a moral anomaly for the moment. Poor Lex. he so wants Clark's family to accept him and the love he has for their son. Poor Lex.
After that it was Farscape, which I can't really heckle because I'm enjoying the non Ch9 versions. suddenly it makes more sense, it has more flow, people actually start and finish conversations. What I do notice is how I suddenly understand everyone very clearly, possibly because we have a lot of theatre actors here, unlike some american tv actors who mumble so much in their wweird middle American accents that even with the tv turned right up (old faithful predates teletext) I can only get one word in ten if I'm lucky. I get foreign languages better than that. Anyways, I really noticed this phenomenon when I was being sick in the loo for half the show and I could still follow along through the closed door. Must mention the magnificent sight of Ben bending over at least twice. I simply must commend that magnificent arse J.
After Farscape there was much whimpering until I remembered Buffy was on Ch7 and it was the prom episode which meant Wes in a tux. Oh my. I was happy and quiet for an hour, so I'm very grateful to all the Buffy & Angel crew. Fretted again until Buffy came on Fox8 half an hour later and I finally fell asleep before she skewered Angel. Good thing she hasn't had to shishkabob Angel since because there's a lot more Angel to impale these days.J