mockturtle (hellblazer06) wrote,
mockturtle
hellblazer06

girl, you're a woman now


Smallville: It's the one where the lightning zaps Clark's powers to Bobby from the X-Men. You know, as you do. Clark is now 100% big girl's blouse, as we discover when his Dad backs the ute over him for fun. "Honestly, Martha, I was just rough housing with the boy."

"Mum, why am I bleeding?" little Clark asks plaintively. Martha adopts her best wholesome family movie smile and explains gently that Clark is becoming a woman now. Snigger. In case you're interested, my Mum, well into menopause before I ever hit puberty, just laughed manically, told me pretty much welcome to hell and walked off after lobbing some 50s era mattresses at me, the kind that needed elaborate tethering systems, ropes and pulleys to hold in place. Thank god for Johnson & Johnson and their slimline models, though if it's the middle of the night and you're groggy with painkillers and not paying proper attention, you mistake which way is up on that adhesive sucker and it's instant Brazilian. Yowch! But I digress.

Meanwhile Lex has ratcheted up his stalking of Clark up another notch, viewing some early renderings of the SFX from the opening credits. Is that really Clark's magnificent arse print in the bonnet of his car, as he's suspected all along? Lex's suspicious mind leads to a night time confrontation with Clark down by the fence of the Kent property (weirdly, within sight of the homestead, says she, used to farms the size of Belgium) which isn't suspicious at all. Just how many noturnal commissions does Lex make to Chez Kent? Anyways, Clark gets all tetchy and refuses to de-closet himself and stalks off. Uh oh, trouble in paradise.

Arrrgh, it's the GAYLE, it's the GAYLE, it's the GAY-LE! ie the gayest look of the episode, and this time it's between Clark and his overly and uncomfortably adoring Dad. Make him stop! Make him stop! Meanwhile, Whits invites Clark for a friendly game of basketball (homoeroticism in...) - much sweaty maleness ensues. Mmmm, more EvilLex. Yum. Bobby redecorates his truly shitty parent's house which a few well deserved police cars. Felt like that myself tonight so I'm with Bobby on that one. Anyway, I think the installations improve the place. Very op art. Bravo. Sell it to some wanky gallery and retire on the proceeds, but no, he has to confront Clark at...it's The Dam! Score! Bonus points for a special guest appearance of this venerable Vancouver stalwart. Hi, you might remember me from such shows as...(Dark Angel, Sentinel, Stargate...) Meanwhile Lex takes delivery of 8x10 glossies of his dad shagging his bird. What is with smalltown middle America and their weird creepy incest vibes, and where's David Lynch when you need him?

Pearls from the Bro, commenting on the article re Soamesy in the NY Times:

    "When Bosinney
    designs a country house for Soames and Irene (he's
    such a
    genius that he anticipates Frank Lloyd Wright by
    years), he
    falls in love with Irene, in scenes that telegraph
    their
    desire with every blatant glance."


    Soames's country house was clearly based on that
    blatant copycat Charles Rennie Mackintosh whose
    preemptive plagiarism obviously knew no bounds, not
    even the space-time continuum!


  • Wes caps

  • Angel spoilers

  • Adventure Inc

  • Adventure Inc

  • 'The Magnificent Seven' TV Show DVD/Video Request

  • OUR BOYS ON DVD!

  • more plastic Wes

  • Cartoons

  • Gatecon 2002

  • Vaevictis.org

  • Sitcom, Murder, Pornographic Web Site. Now, the Hollywood Biopic!

  • A Collage in Which Life = Death = Art

  • 'Foreign accent syndrome' explained

  • Save the Regent

  • Twinkle, twinkle, now we know just what you are

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