mockturtle (hellblazer06) wrote,

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monday bloody monday

Stargate: Last Stand.
Dear Danny, unable to kill his ex squeeze. I'm now more sure than ever that they boinked in The Curse. I know my currently ex-friends disagree but I contend that he took off his coat and tie, which is conservative US TV for 'I've just had sex - off camera, and shall not speak of it'. Speaking of conservative US telly, SG-1 was blasted in the TV Week letters page for being the most crass hour of US warmongering on tv right now (and I didn't write the letter, either). And TPTB said that non US fans wouldn't be offended by all the rampant US-centric tub thumping. My arse.

Meanwhile, SG-1 escape using magic growing crystals, you know, the kind you used to be able to buy from the back pages of comic books. As a deus ex machina it's exceedingly lame, not to mention tacky.

The closer Elliot gets to exiting stage left, the more and more I like him. Can't we keep him instead of Parker Lewis can't act? I take back everything I said about the Cadets episode. Well, not really, but this is a new and improved version of Elliot and I like him now, dammit. He's being all noble and self sacrificing. Bugger. Meanwhile Danny's loose lips are crashing ships. Chatting up the other slaves indeed. Tsk. Daniel and Jacob make a cute comedy and queenly duo, especially when creaming in. Ahem. Weirdly, the Elliot moments saved this entire episode and made the ending a lot more poignant than it deserved to be. And now he's gone. Bugger.

Lookit, Richard Burgi's back on tv. G'arn, Jim, use your Sentinel senses! Oops, wrong show. Still, nice to see RB and my dear ye olde 80s crush Keifer both landing in a thoroughly respectable tv show (unlike some 80s crushes I could mention). I loved this. I liked the style, because it's so painful for US telly to try something new so I must respect it, and I haven't seen that much split screen work since, well, watching all those dvds of early 80s music vids Bro has been buying up. She loved like diamond....! Ahem, where was I? Oh yeah, Keifer's wife in this is a bitch, cue the Cartman song. Reminds me of the cow from Rampage. No wonder the US divorce rate is so high if these dreadful women are in any way representative. I mean, your man, who has a large salaried and important job, gets called into the office at midnight. It's obviously a big deal, give him a fucking break. Keifer apologises over and over - I mean, my god, try and get an apology out of one of the blokes 'round here, and this isn't enough. She keeps pestering him and being snippy. What a fucking bitch. He can't talk on the phone right now because he's in the middle of a gun battle with enemy agents and she fumes because he's not giving her enough attention. Live your own life, honey. Fucking cow. I hate people like that. Everything has to be on their terms and their timetable. Good grief. It just shows such disrespect to the poor man. The guy has an important job to do and it probably pays for all her damn pottery awareness classes or whatever, just let him be. I just don't get it. Whatever happened to standing by the one you're supposed to care for. Meanwhile, Keifer's back up team are a collection of cardboard cutouts with big labels stuck to them. I don't even need to know Wired's spoilers re only good guys use Macs to be able to spot the mole. Apparently, evil people use PCs. Which makes me evil because I couldn't even afford a stolen i-book.

Keifer was great though. Oh yeah. I've missed seeing him around.

Then it was Mutant X, the same episode that had just been on Fox. I don't get it. Nobody wants Mutant X, though plenty of people want Andromeda - though I forgot to tape it so it's all academic (personally I think they should stop being so cheap and pay for their own Foxtel, but that's probably just the PMS speaking. I swear, it must be).

Weirdly, I'm finding it more watchable this time around. Must be the fever. I toss and turn all night watching snatches of Northern Exposure and National Geographic. and I stay home. This flu is so bad I don't even have to think for a second as to whether I should stay in bed.

The DB Sweeney plot meets Outbreak. Not bad, for a 70s tv show. Poor Sam is bullied and tortured as usual (he's much more mistreated than poor Lewis over in Oxfordshire) and Quncy's groundbreaking methods are positively Elizabethan but I still watched it, nose running. Then it was Early Edition, nap, Law and Order, reading newspapers, Buffy, MASH and reading magazines. Was going to watch M7 but I'd be all cross and not enjoy it. I'll wait until I'm up to following plots again.

Stargate: Brief Candle.
Or a sneak peek at Jack, circa S6 (meow!). The sex is bad episode, one of the very few episodes where Jack actually gets a leg over, much to Danny's purse lipped chagrin. Maybe all the venomous looks from Dr Jackson is why Jack severly lets the side down re conquering new territory, ahem. I love Sam's 'what the fuck do I know about babies?' bit. Love Jack's adoration of Daniel's many talents. Funnily enough one of the Nat Geo docos I faded in and out of was about Crete and the Linear A script. I don't recall it including the symbol for there's a McDonald's 5 km away, though. Tsk. Go on, look at the base of the statue. It's there, the sneaky bastards. Jack gets the viagra cakes, Jack goes tripping, Jack wakes up naked. Sam and Daniel race to tackle the prone and nekkid Colonel. Then Jack slowly turns into the crotchedy old bastard he will become. Couple of 'what the's?" with the plot: if the experiment was meant to compress thousands of years of human evolution into 100 years, then surely these Mycenean peoples have been there for over two thousand years at the very least, and much more likely three thousand, so shouldn't they be making with the bulbous foreheads by now? And Sam washing the naughty nanobots down the sink with contamination sirens going off. Nice work. At least Danny was going to get his S1 Jack back. I trust Danny will be taking suitable precautions re Jack and his intergalactic vd. BTW, Danny, that outfit last night, not flattering, I gotta say. No more MRE's for you, sweet cheeks.

Oooh, Time Squad, JL - a repeat, and now X-Men. Cartoon cartoon Saturday.

Dark Angel: Zack episode. Yay. Ditched Riley et al to commune with Nature. Driven back indoors by passive agressive mother. Herc: Bruce Campbell. Yay. One of my more treasured possessions is the signed photo dear Bruce was kind enough to send in receipt of my gushing fan girl epistle. It arrived on my birthday, and I never get post on my b-day, so it's extra special.

S&H: Gay cops, gay bars and drag queens. Not as fun when the subtext becomes text. Look at that guy with grey hair, marvels Bro. That's like 110 in gay years, he mocks. He's so cruel.

Then it's onto young Sean Bean in Morse. Sean....mmmmmm. Oh yeah, gaolbait Stephen and Jonathan too. But Sean...mmmm....

I'm thinking one reason why there's so little Brit and Oz sci fi/fantasy telly, aside from budget restrictions, is the fact that it's largely redundant. US tv uses genre shows as metaphor, to say the things they can't say or do on US telly, on account of US tv being extremely conservative about just about everything except violence. But you don't need to have a show about these aliens who do not live as we do, wink, when you've got two nurses from Casualty getting married and driving off into the sunset together on prime time tv. I'm just saying. No need to mess around with vampires when you can show poeople passing out in toilets.

In spite of feeling like shite, pms and flu combined, ouch, I wrote lots. Finished off half a notebook. Jack/Daniel? Alas, no. My bad. Ezra? Oh yes. Lots. Lots of Ezra/Chris, and like that's a big surprise. And...and...well, it had to happen and no, I'm not posting a preview yet. Aside from the statutory, albeit consensual, rape and the implied bestiality, one of the partners not being technically homo sapiens sapiens as well as underaged, it needs lots of work: I still haven't found the character voices just yet and it's still mostly pwp, I'll add the plot in later. There was a bit where they ended up in a swish hotel (well, Lex was paying) and it started to turn into Spring's Hotel fic so I had to scrap it and go back and re-write it because there's no time for games. The lads are technically on the lamb and Clark, being a teenaged boy, has all the sexual sophistication of a silky terrier. I rally need to get that scene to work because it actually does have severe plot consequences. I'm not silly enough to ignore how wrong this fic is, I'm making that the point of it. Baby did a bad, bad thing.

Yesterday, while getting a bit of sun on the falling apart back veranda, my three birds stood on the banister like gargoles, trying to will me into giving them my toast crusts. Then one decided fake being lame by folding one leg up, so they all did it. It was a gusty day and this stiff breeze strikes up and they all start listing to starboard really badly, but they know if they put their good foot down I'll laugh at them, so they keep on listing. Oh, I wish I had a camera. Eventually it works, I give in and toss then my toast crusts and they scamper off down the back of the yard, miraculously able, again. Apparently they've proven crows are smarter than monkeys. I could have told you that. My birds are way smarter than a lot of people around here, that's fer sure.

Oh, the papers were big on thou shalt apologise again, so, once more, I apologise for writing things here that have offended and distressed people. I forget that I'm not writing to myself or a few select people. That's no excuse, though. I'm very sorry, and I mean that. Of course, that's not to say I won't do it again, I'm only human, but I'm trying not to repeat my wicked ways. There were huge reams of my diary written over the weekend that I have not published here. See? I'm trying.



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