mockturtle (hellblazer06) wrote,
mockturtle
hellblazer06

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if I only had a brain


Why I'm so interested in all the corporate larcenry in America right now is because, a few months ago when plotting out my M7 arc, I decided to move Ezra from his rackets to the more profitable and less physically dangerous world of white collar crime, especially after reading the sort of behavoiur going on in the American stock market back then - it was a legalised form of gambling. Perfect for my boy. The exact same behaviour going on today. So instead of hitting the history books. I just have to read the paper. Simple. Bro wonders how Luthor Corp is faring with its auditors J.

Was just taken to task for my complete lack of style today. I told cheeky co-worker that it was bottom of the laundry basket chic and I needed something warm and comfy anyway because I had reports to write. She agreed, she was only winding me up because I'm so easily wound. Father used to love baiting me. Dreamt Dad and my dog came back last night. Managed one tear when I woke up so that chill pill is finally wearing off. Yesterday I had completely lost the ability to get angry. Fascinating, I observed, with one eyebrow arched ironically. But I'd also lost the ability to be amused, aroused or touched by the tiniest beauty of an evening sky. If this is what it's like to be normal, you can have it. I rather like the rollercoaster and if that means riding it alone for the rest of my life, so be it. But I'm sure there are people out there who like their life full of chillis and oysters and lemons and vindaloos and weird Chinese dishes and spare me from people who want the world to be like McDonald's cheeseburgers: always the same and never tasting of anything so you are never disturbed by concepts such as flavour.

Thank fuck the chill pill was still working when I went shoppping. For the first time ever Woolies are not using the shop burning down as an excuse to rennovate but are actually rennovating during the evening: the prime on the way home shopping hours. I kid you not, it was like some fucked up Japanese game show as they emptied shelves or wheeled full shelves around the shops so poor idiots like me were pursuing fleet footed shop stewards and their fast moving shelves with plaintive looks and flapping basket and when I went to go back for the tissues they'd moved again and they had the ant-rid next to the Tim Tams and the laundry powder next to the cocopops and it was all very...surreal. Fortunately I just got hot, not bothered, as I trailed after the rolling shelves trying to tick items off my mental list. Stock was depleted too so there were only one or two choices of anything, like no chicken soup for mother. No chicken soup! Anyone would think I was trying to shop in Afghanistan or something.

It hasn't helped that between the hormones and the chill pill I'm a complete space cadet. I don't know what I posted yesterday but it wasn't the letter I meant to post and I forgot to bring the old dear her cup of tea twice and she waited and waited and I still feel so very, very wretched over that. The birds were cranky, too, as I'd gotten home so late on Tuesday they'd missed their evening feed. They barked and growled at me when I came home. By the time I'd finished with everything I was too tired to do that report or read another chapter on SQL. Ay me. Too tired to watch tv, either. I just crashed.

Sometimes my horoscope amuses:

    One day, the lion will lie down with the lamb. And then? Then, we should all be jolly bored. People like disagreeing with one another. It provides grist for their mill, fuel for their fire, air for their balloon. Why else do they go to such lengths to wind each other up? Great protestations are now being made in your vicinity. Excellent speeches are being delivered. You do not feel especially inclined to believe what you are hearing. Rightly so. It is empty rhetoric.

I'm too preoccupied with grown up things to be bothered with playground tit for tat right now. I'm going to finally follow my Mum's advice: ignore it and hope it all goes away. At least family wise, the cousins I don't like don't talk to me and the cousins I do like, do. I've never realised how fortunate such an arrangement was, or how lucky I am to adore 90% of my cousins.

I think I need another visit with my Scottish cousins. Nothing works to make me feel better about myself than to realise the bits about me that some people want to change most are hardwired into the entire brood J. I feel less of a freak when I'm surrounded by the circus J.

Hee, I love Dr Karl. First he was talking about de ja vu which led to a passionate Charmed discussion then some mirth over Cole, evil demon overlord that he is, being the son of an ex Prime Minister. Now he's just decribed in graphic detail how the explosion would have killed Hector on Monarch of the Glen. Won't be needing lunch today.

I like my comfy hemp top today. It's warm and snuggly and it absorbs soy sauce stains without a trace. Like everything this week, my usual sushi decided to be difficult and my soy sauce sachet sprayed all over me like an arterial bleeder in ER. Sigh. Mutter. It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.


 

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