December 8th, 2006

gene brown

no such luck

The omens for tonight are not good. Let us review: the dress I bought specially, my first proper party dress in a decade (I grieve long and hard) cannot be worn, alas. It's a gorgeous concoction, a white slip of a thing with a black Japanese screen print running down it and black ribbons crossing over in front and around the waist, drawing the eye to the boobs and away from the hips, ta very much. Found some lovely strappy shoes and exotic jewellry to go with.

But, alas, no. The calendar today says no white dresses, thank you, and on top of that it looks like somebody had a bicycle pump up my arse all night because I've swollen up several dress sizes overnight (though the enormously diuretic chai tea I have has at least bounced me back down one dress size). Oh yeah, and it's not like I can wear the dress out for dinner on my birthday, either. Twenty eight days from now? Yeah, right.

Fortunately, I had a second little black dress ready to go in cases of emergency (why do you need another dress, asked parsinomious AP, obviously not a student of my calamitous life). I don't love it, but it'll do. It's very 1971. Fortunately, too, I picked up some very 1971 so fake it hurts silver bling to go with it last night, because the necklace I really wanted to wear came apart in my hands as I was putting it on this morning.

Of course, having changed from You Only Live Twice to Diamonds Are Forever, dress wise, I had to dig out my vaguely 1971 shoes, which had an enormous spider living in one. Cue the scene from Dr No.

And let's not forget that my hair is red, instead of dark brown, and now frizzy on top of that. Gah.

Sometimes a girl just shouldn't bother getting up in the mornings.
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