Twas ::cold:: this morning, and the bus was half an hour late and I was frozen solid. My fault entirely, I wasn't dressed properly for the cold. Shall rug up correctly tomorrow, no matter how much of a twit I look.
Was delighted last night when the tape fairy delivered some Magnificent Seven to save me from a minor fic crisis, ie needing to recheck my source material. I was ever so happy, if more than a little narcoleptic. Sometimes I just crash and I guess I did during Dark Angel. Hey, it happens. No reflection on the program (or the tape fairy). More the product of a nice warm wallow in bed with comic books and too many nights kept awake by randy marsupials outside my window. Never used to have wildlife. Back in the day when we were surrounded by chemical factories and not housing estates nothing ever stirred, no birdsong, nothing. Now, with the factories gone, and the last tiny tracts of bushland turned into highway and even more housing estates, my trees are the only place the creatures have to frolic. And frolic they do. All night. Noisely. So I knew I was tired, but I didn't think I was into the face planting stage yet. Well, if we ever have another bushfire, my relatives need not worry because there's a 200 km concrete firebreak surrounding my little oasis in every direction.
Today's fic snippet is dedicated to M7 tapes on wheels (rated [M]):
Buck startled when he heard someone behind him. He turned, wiping his eyes, to find JD staring at him angrily.
"Go away, JD," he dismissed.
"What are you doing up here? Hiding?" JD accused.
"No, thinking," Buck bristled. "I've lost him, JD."
Buck turned at that, surprised.
JD was fuming. "You used to be my best friend and I don't even recognise you any more. He's turned you into a crying sissy, made you wear silly, fancy clothes and run about after him - he treats you like a servant, Buck."
Buck drew himself up.
"Now listen here -"
"No, you listen. You used to have time for me, you said I was your best friend, but you just spend all your time running after Ezra and he's ruined you. I never thought you'd turn out to be like him. A sissy boy."
Buck stared at JD, hurt beyond measure.
"Sodomite," JD hissed, furious.
Buck sighed and went back to his leaning on the railing.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, JD. You're still young. One day you'll learn how hard this life is, and you'll come to grab at any piece of comfort that comes your way."
"Yeah, comfort. Doesn't matter if it's with a whore or your best friend. It's just a way of getting through a long cold night together."
"You and Chris -" JD realised, horrified.
"We snuggled up some nights, sleeping out under the stars. Sometimes he'd come to me after he'd been with half a dozen whores. Sometimes he'd bring the whores with him. It didn't mean nothin'. Not really."
He reathed out slowly, remembering. That wasn't entirely true. It had meant something, in the moment, but those moments were long since gone.
"I've been a lover, JD, but I've only been in love a couple of times in my life. That day I walked into the saloon and saw Ezra sitting up and playing cards just like old times, like nothing had ever happened, I felt my heart just kick like a mule and I knew. Ain't no fighting it." He bowed his head. "Don't mean it's returned in kind, either."
"Forget about him."
"I can't. He needs me, whether he knows it or not. He's mad with grief and he doesn't know what he's doing. I can't walk away, I won't walk away, not again. I'm not going to lose him."
JD was young, but he wasn't stupid. He knew who this was about.
"You've never really told me about Chris, what he did, why you were always frightened I'd end up like him."
"Weren't pretty, JD. After Adam and Sarah died, Chris - he lost his soul. He burnt it out of himself in bitterness and drink. He was wild and he was bad and he's got to live with what he did every day of his life. He's always got people gunnin' for him, on account of what he did. He can't ever turn his back on a man. Not unless he wants to end up dead."
"You never told me."
"I wanted to protect you. I know you think you want a reputation like Chris, JD, but believe me, you don't. I love you like a son, and I'd do anything to save you from following Chris' path. I wasn't trying to hold you back, but you get a history like Chris has, well, you remember what happened to Hickok?"
JD bowed his head, understanding. "You don't want Ezra to die like that."
"No, And if he goes after the men who killed his family, he'll end up dead."It was all etched on Buck's face. JD still wished Buck had never set eyes on Ezra, but he kept it to himself. If he considered himself Buck's friend, and he still did, very much, he'd have to stand by him, no matter what he did. The way Buck stood by Chris and Ezra.
Hope this is okay, trying to discuss my fic without mentioning people. Jolly hard,because I am influenced. An e-pal just told me a very funny story that just screams Smallville scene, to me, anyways. I was thinking of writing proper Berkley approved journalism, but then I piss people off by being political. Not really happy with posting my fic bits, as by law I'm meant to include some sort of ratings device, and they have to be Australian ratings). But I'll discuss my fic processes, but I bet that gets me in hot water, too, like my following the Arizona fires just for a fic idea. Oh well, I try. As my Dad always said, I'm very trying.