June 11th, 2002

Carravaggio

Saturday


Lookit, I'm on bastard bus again. I recognise my smears up the window, from trying to rub a patch clear so I could see out. It's cold and wet but I'm no longer hiding under the covers watching tv westerns attempting to write more M7. I'm on a bus into the city. Ay me.

Oh great, a geriatric just set off her alarm. Now everybody wants to kill her as the stupid old biddy can't switch it off. Our ears are bleeding here. She's gotten off the bus. Good riddance you old bag. Hmph.

Still don't have all the keys. It's a power thing. Had to crawl around the side when I left to feed the birds, who were all siiting in the tops of the trees watching me get in and out of the shower. It's like the Birds meets Rear Window meets Psycho. Creepy.

Okay, fic notes (these will no doubt contain adult themes): Chris finds Ezra about to kill the man. Chris kills him for Ezra (qv sin eater). Chris takes Ezra back to hotel. Buck bursts in the next morning shouting that Vin said Chris had found Ezra, then stops dead. It's true. Chris had found Ezra. There's Ezra, in his bed. Buck runs off. JD finds Buck wiping away the tears atop the hotel's widow's walk. JD calls out Ezra and Ezra damn nearly kills him. Chris stops him. JD has no idea how deadly Ezra can be when riled, whereas Vin, Chris and Buck have a fair idea.

Back to reality (boring!): After being so late I just about left, especially as instead of meeting me in Borders where I was warm and happy (they were playing tijuana jazz and it reminded me of I Spy) she made me wait in the cold at Town Hall with 700 or so aggressive fundalmentalist culty Christians. Arrrrgh. Talk about Purgatory. So no time for lunch and as I'd not eaten (never before a two hour bus trip, I get travel sick like nobody else on this planet, especially on a zig zaggy road and it's an old bullock track so yeah, zig zaggy) I was now cold, damp, irritated and foodless. Rather gave her an earful but it had been decades long in coming. So we saw Star Wars. And you know what? I loved it. One of those having zero expectations thing. Ewan was cute, and very disturbingly Renton in the diner scene and on the whole I thought it no better or worse than Empire r Jedi so I was happy. Kiwis up the wazoo though, but they were great. I think the Australasians really made the film, acting their little hearts out. They sort of had the so desperate for a gig we'll do anything vibe the first film had J. I coulda lost the two annoying plot forwarding leads, but as far as cheesy fun went, yeah. It worked for me. Okay, I had taken a few pills for my headache so maybe I'd finally mellowed out a bit, but I was happy for a couple of hours.

Ran into Evan at the bustop. Blast from the past, but plesantly so.


 

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Carravaggio

Tuesday


Weird, no email from Evil Friends (grrrr) but several pieces of correspondence from folks just crusing by my page. One deardelight even sent me a piccie of M. Biehn. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. I might be crappy and miserable, but that sure brightened me up quite a bit. Right now I'd probably post some fic but I haven't written any (see rant below).

(Jen goes off to rummage through what she's written so far). Okay, found something. It's a Buck scene and dearest Buck has been such a comfort to me. Too bad I never got a chance to copy down the siloquay he made on the bus ride home on Saturday about how he wasn't ready to give up on Ezra. He's such a sweetie. I could hear the boy, but alas, I've lost the words now. Anyways, here's a Buck bit I did manage to capture. It's from part six and there are adult themes implied:

    Buck took another speculative sip at his champagne, not sure if he was really cut out as a champagne drinker.


    Chris watched his friend's struggle with the finer things in life with great amusement.


    "Why didn't you hold this shindig out at the house. It has a a bigger ballroom, surely."


    "It's a parlour, and no, it's actually smaller. You've just never seen it crammed full of people like this place. No, Ezra wanted to hold this ball in the centre of town so everyone could come and see the ballroom."


    "He wanted to show off." Chris nodded, not surprised.


    "He wanted to put it in people's minds that they could hire this place for weddings or funerals," Buck corrected, revealing Ezra's far more mercurial plans.


    "Besides, we're in the centre of town, and the house is a ways away. It's just a big, empty house."


    "With no woman in it, just you," Chris noted, sipping at his champagne, understanding Ezra's need not to draw attention to that aspect of his life.


    Buck bristled. "I'm not his wife," he ground out, and Chris backed up a step.


    "I didn't mean it like that."


    Buck considered his fluted glass, rolling it between his fingers. It was a sissy glass, of that there was no mistaking.


    "I don't know what I am," he questioned quietly. "I'm not his partner."


    "Do you want to be?"


    Buck should his head vehemently. "No. I leave all the business to Ezra. I just don't want to know, it's better that way. I just don't like people thinking I'm his kept boy or something."


    "Nobody thinks that," Chris assured. "You're his lover," he reassured Buck.


    Buck nodded, accepting that.


    "Is Ezra's business all legit?" Chris asked, switching into business mode, catching a hint of what Buck had said earlier.


    "Just let it be Chris. Ezra's greased a few wheels, but there's nothing you need to worry about. I'd tell you if there was."


    Chris considered him. "Would you?"


    Buck was affronted. "Yes, I would. For Ezra's sake, as much as yours," he underlined.


    Chris nodded. Alright then. He'd let Buck keep an eye on Ezra, something he'd come to rely on.


 

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Carravaggio

(no subject)


Oh, lookit, they've all replied to my work email addy. Cause I can access that from home - not. Haven't even bothered to open them. Not until I've had a cup of tea, or three. Am I gonna post a retraction? Ain't gonna. They could have phoned. Hmph. Okay, so could I but that would have seemed desperate. Probably better I spent the weekend alone anyway, given the grumpiness that is me.


 

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Carravaggio

(no subject)

In case anyone wants me this week, I'll be doing the bare minimum hours this week because I'm royally pissed off and I've already worked up several days worth of free overtime doing my weeks of 12 hour days anyway. No, I'm gonna go home and watch Buffy and try and write something. I'm used to writing during Buffy on the weekends so it's something I can easily slip into (I hope). Maybe SG as I'm still upset over not getting that Buck scene because it was so perfect. He was explaining to JD why he was gonna stand by his man. You see a friend pointed out I'd not addressed the JD issue. Well, firstly, even though it's practically canon, ew. Secondly, JD is supposed to be a kid in the show, even though he looks thirty (the same can be said for any WB show) and I'm not about to sign Buck up for NAMBLA just yet, so I'm going to leave just how far their friendship went up to the perversions of my readers J. In part seven I've decided to include JD and he's being quite the little Iago, constantly whispering in Buck's ear that Ezra is no good and more trouble than he's worth. Which is true, but Buck's still in love, though he's being tried awful hard. JD finally gives voice to his long festering resentment at his replacement in Buck's affections. Buck had no idea but he tells JD not to make him choose. As far as JD is concerned, Buck has already chosen. Poor Buck. He never meant to fall in love with a liar and a thief, but he did, and he can't pull free.

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Carravaggio

(no subject)

Hee, now I have "Stand By Your Man" stuck in my head. Poor, poor Bucklin. He deserves what he gets if he takes Ezra back, but that just me. My problem is selling a reconciliation I don't really believe in. Hmmm, maybe I can make it somewhat uncomfortable. I want to go home and have fun with nasty, vicious JD. It's probably a reaction against all the "I understand, I have a nephew who's gay" fic, but I need somebody to call them a bunch of filthy perverts and in this case I think JD's words will sting more than Nathan's ever could. I also kinda like JD suddenly outing himself as a homophobe, cause I've known people like that. You think they're cool with slash but surprise, big no, they're not. Poor Buck. He's really copping it this chapter. Ah, it's a sign of my great esteem for the boy, as well as a measure of how crappy my week's been. J


 

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Carravaggio

(no subject)

It's quiet. I should be writing. But unfortunately the nice woman who works at the other end of the floor has doused herself in so much perfume it's making my eyes water from here. Not conducive to happy fic-ing at all. Wonder where everyone is? Guess they're all having a long, long weekend. Surely I didn't scare off everyone, though nobody here's really seen my inner warrior princess before. The women of my tribe have always had legendary tempers when roused. Dad didn't used to call me Boudica for nothing. I could eat Xena for breakfast...no, wait...that came out wrong J


 

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